The Warrior’s Path To Letting Go

It's exceptionally easy to point fingers and say something negative about someone else. But you know what? It's often even easier to look in the mirror and say something negative about ourselves. It's very true that we can be our own worst critic. However, there are few things in life that will drain your power faster.

In this light, I have two tools for you. 

In my book, the Art of Being Human, I talk about something called The Forgiveness Game.

The mind loves to fill in blanks and hates unanswered questions. So when someone does something seemingly irrational, aggressive, reckless or even violent, the mind tends to fill in the blanks like "this person did because they are a and should be ." Some words may have even come to mind as you read that. Often, those are assumed details and not facts. The Forgiveness Game invites (and challenges) you to change the narrative a little, and instead say "this person did because they are and must be ."

For example, "This person just yelled at me in the grocery store parking lot because he's in a rush to get home. His daughter just called and told him she was physically abused by her boyfriend. He was trying to pay for his groceries while the cashier gave him an unnecessarily hard time. He must be angry and scared for her safety."

Everybody has a story, every one of us. It helps to ease our emotional reactivity by understanding that we don't see the entirety of someone's experience.

Now, how do we deal with judgement against ourselves, perhaps our most toughest adversary?

The Forgiveness Game doesn't work because we do know our whole story. What went through our head at the time, what we were feeling, and how the situation overcame us. For ourselves, we have a different tool.

The knowledge that we have always done the best that we could with the tools we had on hand.

Think about it. In tough situations, emotionally volatile ones, or times of heartbreak -- whatever the case may be -- you have always scraped together all the tools from your repertoire and acted as best you could based on the knowledge and capacity you had at the time.

It may not have been perfect. It might have, in fact, been exceptionally messy. But you acted with the tools you had to cope with the situation you were in. Allow your past to be imperfect and each lesson be a learning experience. Yes, it's uncomfortable, to say the least, and this is where taking full ownership of your life becomes the most difficult process. It takes honesty and full vulnerability with yourself. But you are strong enough to face the darker parts of you. I promise.

Tell yourself "I did the best I can. I am grateful for this experience in my life and how it helped shape me.", and carry yourself with your head held high into tomorrow.

Own it all. Nobody expects you to be perfect. This is life... we all have stuff going on and we all show a brave face to the world. Release judgement and extend a little compassion both out into the world, and inwards to yourself. Because you are awesome. Every person is, some are just a little more lost than others. But we all find our way home eventually.

Every time you forgive, or reframe, you gain your energy back from a person or situation. This is the warrior's path to letting go. Practice these concepts until you feel light enough to share your love with the rest of the world that, all of a sudden, may seem to deserve it a little more.

In all things, lead with your heart.